As I save and delete old blogs, I'm coming across some that tickle my funny bone. And, coincidentally to yesterday's post, at the end of this one is a mention of a guy with an ulterior motive - the one I told CarpeJamie an abridged account of.
So, just to remind those who don't pay close attention, this happened in 2018 - you don't have to leave a comment saying "sorry about your awful date last night." ๐
This week's pathetic dating report
I had a coffee date last night with a guy from OKC#pid. His profile seemed all right; and he had picked up on MY profile's veiled reference to Fetlife. He said he was more "Fetlife curious" than "Fetlife experienced" - which is to say, he has a profile there but hasn't been to any munches or met anyone.
His OKC profile also mentioned that he's on Second Life, which I know nothing about but he said that is where he developed his interest in kink. So, we were having coffee, and he launched into a VERY long explanation of how that came about (unsolicited, I didn't ask any leading questions). To cut to the chase, it sounded like his kink interest was in meeting MtF transgender people.
Per him - "But I wasn't having much success meeting them so I decided to turn myself into what I wanted to meet and I became a transgender woman" [he also used the term "tranny" a few times, which I consider somewhat offensive so I'm not going to use it]. Ironically he was talking about how all of the guys he met were so insensitive and he was bragging about how he 'educated' them. eyeroll.
Eventually his account became very confusing and bizarre to me, because the way he was phrasing the story sounded like it was things that had happened to him in real life. "So then I built this fancy house, it was floating 700 feet up in the air [OK that part I knew wasn't real lol]. I got to know this transgender woman and she had been kicked out of her house, so I told her she could stay at my place temporarily. But then she wouldn't leave. We did have sex together and initially I was the top but recently we switched places and now she's the top."
He didn't exhibit any awareness of the possibility that his "sex partner" might also be a cis man pretending to be transgender, but he would have to know that right? But I guess in virtual reality it doesn't really matter who the person behind the avatar is.
After his long account, I said, "I don't really know how to comment. No judgement on you, but I know transgender people in real life and that is how I prefer to interact with them". I think he recognized that even though I said 'no judgement' there was indeed some judgement going on, because he started backpedaling and claiming that he now only spends a couple hours a week on the site (I don't believe that for a minute).
And really I shouldn't be judgmental because ten years ago I went through a phase where I was spending a LOT of time in the Upper Midwest chat room on this here site. And certainly there were a lot of people in there who were hiding their "real" selves. How much difference is there between someone who posts an overly flattering picture of their one attractive body part (be it boobs or dick); and someone who constructs an avatar for themselves?
I will say that there was a core group of chatters - maybe about 30 of us - who would periodically get together at in person meet and greets, so we did know the "real person" behind the AFF profile. To a degree anyway.
Coincidentally, the other guy from Fetlife who was expressing some interest in me recently - he was also on Second Life and he was pretty similar to the guy I met last night - 50's, not attractive, out of shape, and a mansplaining know-it-all with not much awareness that his audience wasn't into his long explanations.
Which leads me to wonder if everyone on Second Life is a divorced, out of shape, socially awkward guy in his 50's? Hehe - I know, it's only a sample of two people, but...
In other news, remember that friend who I would get together with to indulge in 420 and exchange massages, but it was an ethical dilemma because he was married and I was pretty sure his wife didn't know about the massage part? And then he got drunk and texted me a kinky proposition, so there was no more dilemma and I said 'No more get togethers dude' ??
He had already re-contacted me a couple months ago, asking again to get together, and I said "No, I would feel uncomfortable".
Yesterday he messaged me on Fetlife, asking how my summer was going. Minor chit chat and then he says: "let me know if you are still up for a massage swap someday" Me: "I was already kind of uncomfortable with that so I donโt think thatโs going to happen. I can recommend a great massage therapist though! Charlie at [name of massage business]. Very reasonable rates and he really knows how to crank hard on my back!" Him: "I wasnโt even getting hard when you were massaging me. or even masturbating about it later. I swear! it would be 100% platonic for me."
LOL! As it happened I had an appointment yesterday with the very talented Charlie and I was telling him a bit of the story. He said, "Oh what's his name? Do you think he'll get in touch with me?" I said, "Naw, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to pay for a good professional massage. He just wants to get a "kind of good" massage for free!" Charlee laughed and said "Oh yeah I know the type".
Anyway, I hadn't even thought about the possibility of this acquaintance masturbating at home later on and the fact that he denies it so fervently makes me wonder if that's what he was doing.
36 comments
Good one to avoid
You did well sidestepping him.
Just another adventure where you shrug and say "at least I can blog about this".
His messages do sound confusing. Is mansplaining common. Think might be. Often in MF communication we might tend to talk past each other. Have things changed much since 2018?
Before the term "mansplain" came around, my women friends and I would talk about guys who 'lecture'. Their idea of a conversation is to expound at length about something they feel they are an expert about. It's not everybody! But for those who are prone to it, I don't think anything has changed during the last six years.
Dudes who brag are nothing but a disappointment ๐
Oh the second bragging guy doesn't brag about his sexual skills. He does a lot of political posts, and prefaces almost every single one with "I am a licensed attorney and served on a county board for 10 years". OOOOOH let me bow down to your expertise!! /s
@smartasswoman
Probably not a good lawyer but most likely highly insecure
I am so tired of mansplainers, LOL.
I hear you, sister!
This story made me uncomfortable for you...lol
That coffee date was super uncomfortable. Why would anyone think that giving every stray detail of their fantasy cyber life would be attractive?
@smartasswoman I. for one, feel when a person crosses that line, then they are delving into the weird aspect of their whatever they are explaining. Some people can just let their weirdness bloom beyond their control.
Gee, I'm sorry about your bad date 6 years ago!
"I wasn't even getting hard..." sounds like a back handed insult, to me.
I hadn't thought about that, but you're right!! In any event I'll admit that initially that was why I was leaning toward believing that he wasn't interested in sex...the fact that he didn't get aroused when I was massaging him.
I learned something new. When did 420 become code?
There's no margin for error in the drunken text.
What NOT to say at the exit interview: and he probably did do it.๐ฒ
What an eerie story.
Good eye for catching things before you woke up amongst the hawkmoths.๐ฆ
This post is a keeper. ๐
You're deleting all your old blogs โ why?
They're all part of "Adult Friend Finder Folklore and History." ๐ค
You hadn't heard 420 before? A little online searching reveals it was created in the 1970's and started to achieve currency in early 1990's when a member of the Grateful Dead would refer to it. Look up the history, it's kind of interesting (or maybe I should do a post haha).
Is the Hawk moth a reference to Silence of the Lambs? I don't think either of these guys was a serial killer, just hopelessly nerdy in the first case and...I don't know...devious in the second case.
I can't really say why I feel the need to delete everything before I go. No one is reading that old stuff (unless it appears on my profile in blog roulette and someone happens to click through). I think it's a control issue.
@smartasswoman
It does have an interesting history. I never noticed that number or its context before. ๐ค
Yes, and what a spooky movie it was.๐ฒ
Well...
It's a diary and a snapshot in time. Those electrons are already permanently poised to keep your legacy alive well into infinity โ or the "AFF" equivalent. Who's picked up "King Lear" for a re-read recently? It doesn't mean we should burn the book.
Some of my old posts are not my best stuff, but they represent whatever was on my mind at the time. Others have lost their context. I considered deleting them but figured, "It is what it was."
Who knows?
Your blog might be someone's twenty-forth-century PhD thesis on:
"Influential Bloggers Who Shaped History on Adult Sites and Their Impact On Planetary Social Mores."
Posting your favorite ones from the past seems like a better way to honor them.
Just a thought... ๐
@Paulxx001 I'm saving them before they get deleted, so they're not completely disappearing. Of course no 24th century Phd candidate will be finding them, but that's all right. I'll have my equivalent of an electronic diary stored to relive old memories if I want to.
Talking himself out of a fun time - ๐ - that's exactly what Second Life dude did.
Lovely